Shirley's Journey!

Hi, I am Shirley. Welcome to my life.
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Loneliness of self discipline #007

Loneliness of self discipline #007

34th monthsary.

2 more months till we hit our 3rd anniversary. haha, time really flies. our long distance relationship is coming to an end. 2 years have come and gone .. look at us. we’ve both grown in our own ways. well, i still never quite gotten over being envious of his life. but i kinda figured a way to deal with it. but wow, 3 years! haha. we could be eligible to get married right now if we wanted to. but haha. so much have changed in these 2 years. i went from being really sad and depressed about him leaving.. to being angry and mad and in a denial and being rebellious to him and finally, i have accepted and embraced this long distance relationship and whatever it brings to us. well, at least when im not PMS-ing. i really hope that he can come home soon. let’s resume our love like normal couples soon, ok? thanks love, for loving me and being such a nice person to love. :) i miss you soooo much. i love you, babykins <3 forever and always.

good luck, young warrior! ;)

Loneliness of self discipline #007

Loneliness of self discipline #007

Salmon marinated with maple syrup. Tofu. Bean sprouts.

Salmon marinated with maple syrup. Tofu. Bean sprouts.

Huge twist of events.

Wow. This week was a gush and a rush and a huge whirlwind of events week. I wanted this week to be a peaceful one so i can enjoy the audit of a client whom i really really was looking forward to. Connie is still the same. Sigh. Really hope we can meet outside of work with her and Helen. Cus i wont be doing her audit next year.. that’s for sure. but universe, thanks for bestowing upon me such a good client who is more like a mother and a teacher than a client. if only all clients were like that…

So anyway, today i tendered my resignation. it is the first resignation i have ever tendered in my life. It was nerve-wrecking, to be honest. i have played a million scenarios in my head and have prepared with well-planned comebacks for each of these “what-ifs” in my head. but what actually happened was nothing i had expected.

I entered her room and she immediately saw the white envelope in my hand (traits of an audit partner, for sure) and asked me to close the door. She was all smiles and very motherly asked me if i had found another job. I just told her honestly. and she was very nice about it and wished me good luck. sigh. its so sad because this company, despite the low pay, is a good company. The colleagues, we are all so close. i dont think you’d get a company where there was no politics. this is one such company. we were too small to play politics. and managers and subordinates can be friends. and my bosses have all been very patient with me despite all the careless mistakes i have made and never yelled at me. i mean, sacarsm.. yes. but nastiness, no. they have constantly been pushing me and guiding me and teaching me. why must the big boss be sooo stingy and not know how to treasure his staff?! because if he did, all of us would have stayed a little longer… but he’s a bully and well, there is no point for me to continue working here.

It’s a shame. i was just getting comfortable and wanted to be abit more comfortable before leaving. you know? not having to be the new person.. being the new person sucks. you have to relearn the company’s culture, re-dig all its dirt, learn about the unspoken rules all over again.

Despite the low pay and lack of prospects, I have never regretted being in this firm. I have learnt alot. alot alot. and i think i had it easy. and i think my bosses have been very patient with me. and i have met fantastic people. many fantastic people and some nasty people. and through here, i have discovered that audit is something i can live with for a living. maybe im not getting an accurate view of what audit is like, but so far.. it has been alright.

I have no regrets at all coming here. and i believe i have definitely learnt alot. i cannot think of a better place to learn. when i was in Noble, i cried every month. partly because of the work stress and partly because of the people. i have been here for 1 and a half years and i have not even cried a single tear. maybe once when i was close to crying. but mostly its tears of joy from all the funny jokes. i will miss my colleagues, alot. i will miss my mentors and managers too. i will miss my desk and old colleagues and all. sigh. i actually feel heavy hearted despite people thinking that i must be having a champagne party now.

but i dont think i would get this opportunity knocking on my door again. it may not be a big firm but i believe its another step up. so, yup. gone with the old and on with the new. sigh. i guess this is life.

Good things fall apart so better things can come together.

i really wish that my colleagues will get better jobs out there soon. i am very lucky (thank you universe) this time round. i really hope to be able to stay here for a couple of years at least and not hop around anymore. not for a while. sigh. i cant believe i have been working for 2 years..

the more i work, the more cruel and selfish i discover the world to be. and the more i believe that in this society, it doesnt matter what substance you have.. well, unless you’re a president scholar. what matters is you have a good cert AND connections AND good looks and you will be successful. full stop. ability? nah. not necessary. this is happening. this is the real world.

behind all these beautiful skyscrapers and pretty offices and smiling faces and nicely-ironed shirts are alot of tears, blood, backstabbing, dirt hiding, finger pointing, responsibility shirking people and events. sigh. that is all.

this feels weird. :(

Yup. Im with him and very thankful, alright :)

Yup. Im with him and very thankful, alright :)

NEW CHAPTER!

a new chapter is about to unveil itself. AND THERE IS HOPE. okay.

You know.. How you always feel that the world has failed you?

Tonight, i have failed the world.

And it sucks more than having the world fail you.

Haha, i havent mentioned about my friends from where i volunteer at the Association for the Deaf. We started out as volunteer journalists till we became friends. Thanks alot, crazy people. The good and positive energy you guys have is hard to find these days. And dawn.. Especially you. So fun, so optimistic, so positive :)

Haha, i havent mentioned about my friends from where i volunteer at the Association for the Deaf. We started out as volunteer journalists till we became friends. Thanks alot, crazy people. The good and positive energy you guys have is hard to find these days. And dawn.. Especially you. So fun, so optimistic, so positive :)